41 gratitudes

 Me and Holly the Dog, 

both in our youth,

at the house in Crystal Lake.

Today marks forty-one years times I've been around the sun.  Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes, by phone, email, post, and Facebook.  I appreciate each and every one!  I tried to thank everyone individually, sorry if I missed you. 

While out at dinner Adam asked how forty-one felt.  Really, much the same as forty.  Now I am technically IN my forties (forty is on the cusp of the forties, not quite IN the forties, a minor detail, I know).  And, more or less the same as thirty-nine, thirty-eight, and thirty-seven.  Maybe even thirty-six.  I feel good.  I think I understand myself better, and what it takes to keep this mechanism running smoothy.  A work in progress, for sure, but I think I have a better handle on it,or at least more resources to figure it out.    

To mark the occasion, I thought of forty-one things for which I am grateful.  Some big, some small, some more things I really like and enjoy.  Not in any particular order.  Sort of as I thought of things, and the day went along.  I would love to hear some of the things for which you are grateful.  Please leave a comment here on the blog or on the Facebook page. 

1)  Loving family, both the one I was born into and the one I married into.   

2)  Dear friends

3)  That I found (and could marry!) a wonderful, funny, smart, resourceful, reliable, handsome, thoughtful companion to share this life adventure.

4)  Enough monetary resources to cover our expenses

5)  Pocketmoney for treats

**

6)  Good health

7)  Strength to lift and replace the bottle on the office water cooler by myself.

8)  How reliable my car (Audrey) has been, despite my less than stellar maintenance.

9)  Cat snuggles

10)  Dog enthusiam

11)  Gardens

12)  Having choices!

13)  Tea.  In particular - Organic India Original Tulsi and Guayaki Yerba Mate Chocolatte.  

14)  Coffee

15)  Springtime being near

16)  iPhone ease of use, especially the camera and photo sharing.

17)  Sushi

18)  Mangoes

19)  Warm comfy bed and new pillows

20)  Adam making dinner

21)  Adam being so handy and taking care of so much around the house.

22)  The color blue

23)  Yoga

24)  Massage

25)  Lunchtime outings to Lurie Garden

26)  The beach

27)  Biking around aimlessly

28)  Books

29)  Photography

30)  Neti pot and nasya

31)  Vira 2 mug

 

32)  Sleeping in

33)  Steam rooms, especially if eucalyptus scented

34)  Birthday serenades from my sisters, nieces, nephew, dad, step-mother, bother-in-law.

35)  Artistic e-greetings from my niece and nephews, thanks to Tom for technical assistance.  

36)  Tasty dinner at friendly neighborhood restaurant with Adam

37)  Enjoying some wine made by our friend

38)  Getting an ollocip (camera lens) for iPhone, part of my birthday present.

39)  Figuring out how to fix the computer monitor after the cat walked on the keyboard and turned the display sideways.

40) Music

41)  A nice chat with my sister, with whom I share a birthday.  

 

Be well!  Wishing you much joy and peace in your life.

 

Be well!  Wishing you much joy and peace in your life.

Hugs,

Tara :-) 

The Home Stretch - Thai Bodywork Weekend Five

 Weekend Five scenes around the studio.  

This was also a photo project for the "Everyday Magic" 

photo e-course I took in January. 

~~~~~ 

“I wanted a perfect ending. 

Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, 

and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. 

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and 

making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” ~ Gilda Radner

~~~~~

 
The period of time since the holidays has been packed with Thai bodywork.  And photography, but that's another topic for another time.  Of course, there was Weekend Five.  Also, I did four students clinics, seva, five practice sessions (I was behind one), and received two professional Thai massages.  This evening, the eve of Weekend Six, I have caught up with all the readings, done all the summaries and reviews, organized all my paperwork, and studied for the anatomy quiz.  I even managed to evade the cold my dear husband caught (knock on wood!)

Paul receiving (and still giving instruction) as Larry and Brook practice thumbing the sen.

 

If things do have a beginning, middle, and end, by Weekend Five it was technically the beginning of the end.  Weekend Five felt very transitional.  For one, we had learned the entire sequence, and were working to refine our flow and technique.  We did learn some new material, but for the most part it was about fine-tuning what we had learned up until that point.  Also, we had the first person leave the program.  Some people from past classes who had not finished joined our class.  There were also a lot of absences due to illness.  The ebb and flow of people lent a sense of things shifting.  Many people shared the disbelief that our next meeting would be our last weekend.  I felt the time went so quickly, I have come so far, and yet still have very far to go.  

Two of our lovely assistants, Katie and Toni.

 

Working on the clients in student clinic also gave some feeling of nearing the end.  Actual paying customers!  Yes, it was a generously discounted rate, and Paul gave a short intro each session regarding us being students and there to learn.  But, unlike our practice sessions with family and friends, these were people that didn’t know us and had no particular reason to be kind with feedback.  Of course they were all lovely, and gave nice constructive comments.  I was a little nervous going into the first clinic session, but once we all got going the rhythm took over and all went well.  It was beautiful to be working alongside my classmates, the environment felt very nurturing.  Paul and the assistants came around with observations, and we could call for assistance or instruction at any point.

 

Seva event at Association House, me working on a staff member.

The seva (service) event, was also a wonderful learning experience.  On that day we all went to Association House in Humboldt Park, and gave Thai massages to the staff.  “Established in 1899, Association House helps to change the lives of Chicagoans in need, across all cultures and ages, by offering effective programs that address both the immediate needs and long term goals of self-sufficiency.”  It was really helpful to work on the general public.  It was different than working on classmates, friends and family, or even the clients at student clinic.  A number of the recipients had never received any sort of massage or bodywork, and weren’t sure what to expect or how to relax.  And yes, relaxing is a learned skill!  It was great to give to those who serve the community.  But for all that I learned, I feel I got as much as I gave that day.  

Weekend Six starts tomorrow.  Excitement, sadness, relief, joy, pride, fear.  I had better get a good night’s rest, sounds like an adventure!    

Hugs,
Tara

Everyone in post-session review at Association House seva

Dee Jai (Happy Heart) - Thai Bodywork Weekends Three and Four

Ruesri - an ascetic monk reminding us to practice self care.  

Ruesri Daton, or Thai Yoga, developed with the hermits / rishis 

as a way to keep the body limber and healthy for long periods of meditation.  

Put your dreams away for now
I won’t see you for some time
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Momma once told me
You’re already home where you feel love
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Oh my brother
Your wisdom is all that I need
Oh my brother
Don’t you worry ‘bout me
Don’t you worry
Don’t you worry
Don’t worry about me

How’s that bricklayin’ coming 
How’s your engine running
Is that bridge getting built
Are your hands getting filled

Won’t you tell me my brother
Cause there are stars up above
We can start moving forward

excerpt from:

"Lost in My Mind" ~ The Head and the Heart

Holy smokes, I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post!  I knew I was delinquent on keeping up with posting about the Thai Bodywork training.  Between weekends three and four there was Thanksgiving, and I also had a business trip.  I'd better get this done before weekend five sneaks up!  Since weekend four there has been Christmas and New Year's, so honestly, both weekends seem ages ago.  Thank goodness I have mostly keep up with the reading and practice sessions, otherwise I really would have forgotten everything.  

I'm not going to refer back to the notes I took, as I have for the other Thai Bodywork posts. One is in the interest of time. I have been really procrastinating this for the past week or so.  I nearly wrote a post about a new recipe we tried instead, so much easier and flashier.  Enough!  The other is in the interest of not being too "heady.  (I get lost in my mind.  Don't we all!?!?), and just focusing on what were the take-aways from the experiences after this elapsed time.

Scenes from Weekend Three

During Thursday evening sharing time of weekend three assistant Tammy mentioned how she was thinking of her life as a bowl with a small hole in it.  Keep in mind I am paraphrasing, and also remembering through my own lens from nearly two month ago.  As she keeps learning and having new experiences, there is continually room to keep adding, as the bowl never gets entirely filled.

Of course something is being lost through the hole, but there is faith that what she needs will stay in the bowl, or will come back around into the bowl.  I just love this idea for a number of reasons.  One, I love to learn!  Those who have known me awhile know that I am always taking some class or another.  Ayurvedic-ly I am Vata predominant.  Textbook Vata, always on the go.  It's nice to think there is always room to learn.  

More Scenes from Weekend Three

 

Secondly, I stress about all I am forgetting.  It's reassuring to think what I need is staying with me, or will come back around at the right time.  I've come to think of this as hands cupped into a bowl shape.  Filling the hands, there are natural cracks, some will contents will remain, and some will leak out.  Life is a continual filling-up, having experiences, gaining knowledge.  Are your hands getting full?  

The other main point I remember is a reading Paul did from a book.  Okay, I did look up this one bit in my notes, the author was Michael Meade.  But I didn't write down the book title.  Though as I understand, it is an old parable, so the book or the author isn't all that important.  Here it is:  Some hungry lions came upon a herd of grazing gazelles.  They put the old toothless lions at one side of the field, while the mighty young lions waited on the other side.  The old harmless lions let out some bellowing roars.  Of course the gazelles all ran the other direction, and fell pray to the deadly lions.  The parable:  Run into the roar.  Your fears will turn out to be harmless. 

Scenes from Weekend Four

 

Between weekends three and four I spent a few hours at an Introduction to Thai Massage class Paul taught.  It was interesting to review some of the points from earlier on, and also to see how far we had come!  I get caught up in all I DON'T know, it is nice remember where I had come from.  Is that bridge getting built?  Why yes, it IS coming along!    

Weekend four, although more recent, actually seems a little cloudier.  I missed a third due to the aforementioned business trip.  It was an international one, so I was a little bit discombobulated as I went right into weekend four.  I wasn't jet-lagged, thanks to a good night's rest the first night back and some Thai bodywork.  :-)   If you've traveled abroad, you may sympathize.  You arrive in the foreign country, you're on sensory overload, and just feel cloudy and have a feeling of "What???"  And then you arrive back home, and it's all nice an familiar, but that "What???" feeling stays with you for a bit.  Hey, I can speak English and not feel rude and everyone will clearly understand me!!!  I'm going to pay in dollars!!!

Here we are, the twelve of us in 

Class Twelve, a.k.a. "The Dirty 

Dozen," at the end of Weekend Four

(photo by either Tammy or Toni, with Larry's phone)

Paul, our fearless leader, was sick during weekend four and didn't join us.  Excellent instruction was provided by the assistants.  Thanks, Toni, Tammy, Katie, and Sarah!  The vibe was different though without his presence.  We finished the entire sequence, and started practicing it in its entirety, timed.  Yowza!  The focus now shifts more to providing a good overall, fluid experience for the recipient.  The sequence is meant to give us a structure, such as learning the scales and basic songs when beginning a musical instrument.  Once the rudiments are mastered, you can riff based on personal talents and client needs.  

This is much like my yoga teaching experience.  At first I carefully planned out every class on paper.  It gradually decreased, and now I go into class with a basic outline in my head, and let the needs of the class dictate where we go.  It took awhile to find my "voice," and best express information to the students.  I think my classes have become more fluid and intuitive over time.  This is an ongoing process, as I imagine giving Thai massage will be.  I think my hands, head, and heart will be getting filled with new Thai massage information for quite some time!  Maybe a lifetime, if I'm fortunate. 

What is filling your hands?  What makes you Dee Jai, Happy Heart?

Hugs,

Tara

  

P.S.  Some photos that have nothing to do with Thai Bodywork, other than I took them after leaving class.  

  

 

Grandpa and Thanksgiving

Papa, Nana, Great-Grandma, Me, Grandma, Grandpa - at my baptism 

(I think this photo was taken at Nana and Papa's residence in Chicago)

I only have a handful of memories of Grandpa, my paternal grandfather.  His birthday was recently.  It's almost hard to extricate a memory of him solo, not entwined with one of Grandma.  In many ways they seemed the balance of one another.  Not opposite, more so the requisite pair, like salt and pepper.  Grandpa was tall and sturdy, Grandma short and petite.  Grandpa seated and steady, Grandma fluttering and always in motion.  Grandpa was certain and definitive, Grandma demure and soft spoken.   

Grandpa / Uncle Don, Grandpa, Papa / Grandpa and Uncle Don

I remember breakfast in their kitchen on Wenonah Avenue, Grandpa seated in his spot at the head of the metal and Formica table, below the cuckoo clock (as a child I found the clock fascinating).  Coffee percolating on the stove top, my sisters and I drinking sticky sweet apricot nectar juice, Grandpa having "poop juice" (prune juice).  Toast spread with whipped butter, real butter, not margarine as at our house.  Grandpa demonstrating how to scrape the butter knife at an angle around the container just so to get a thin sheet of butter, easier to spread and melt, leaving a smooth cone of butter (no jabbing leaving it all gouged!)   

The "rec room" at our house in Crystal Lake.  Background - Uncle John, Uncle Don, cousin Don, cousin Rick.  Foreground in the big brown chairs - Aunt Cheryl and Aunt Mary Ann. 

I remember Grandpa and Papa seated in the big brown chairs at our house flanking the fireplace.  The old lions holding court, mayhem all around, a flurry of kids, dogs, chatting adults, mingling, laughter, festivities.  The room stuffy-hot from the fire and all the bodies.  Everyone over-fed, the kids over-sugared and over-stimulated.  Why don't you kids go and play in the basement???     

 Grandpa and Grandma's basement.  Foreground - Mum, me, cousin Rick, Grandpa.  

Background - Great-Grandma, Dad, Grandma 

I remember Grandpa in the basement of their house.  The Manhattan was his drink.  As he would get to the bottom, he would give us kids the maraschino cherries.  We would swing by, "Are you done yet?"  He would make us our own Shirley Temples with extra cherries, but it somehow seemed more fun to get the cherries from Grandpa's glass.  

I remember Grandpa carving the golden turkey at Thanksgiving.  Tables lined end to end, a jumble of chairs, everyone squeezed in.  All the traditional foods, plus we always had sauerkraut and dumplings, a nod to their Polish and Czech ancestries.  

Grandpa!  

I probably spent more Thanksgivings at Grandma and Grandpa's than anywhere else so far in my life.  Grandpa died of a heart attack when I was thirteen.  I think Grandma hosted a few more years, and then the celebration migrated to Aunt Cheryl's house.  I think some at my parents' as well, those years are not as etched in my memory.  Grandma contributing less to the meal each year as her dementia increased.  Her desire to help never decreased though, she seemed uneasy relaxing and letting others do the work.   

Some recent Thanksgivings-past - Niece Anna at the only Thanksgiving in the 

condo on Claremont / Adam and Genevieve at the first Thanksgiving at our current 

house /  Anna, Michael, Jim / Maggie and the table Adam made for our feasts!

Into my twenties a few Thanksgivings were spent away from family.  The first was in Southeast Asia.  Thanksgiving night found my travel companion and I on a sleeper car in Vietnam, as we laid on the hard plank "beds" (and best not to mention the train's "bathroom" at all), he said from across the dark aisle, "Well, Happy Thanksgiving!"  The next year was in Aberdare National Park, Kenya, where they did a good job putting out a full traditional American thanksgiving meal for dinner.  Both Thanksgivings were good experiences.  I learned much about how truly blessed my life is.  I tried to drop the word "need" from my vocabulary in regards to material possessions.  And more than that, just the stability of our lives here in the U.S.  No recent bloody wars, no government coups.

Thanksgiving in Austin (and San Antonio) - Dad and I visit 

my sister, Kim, and brother-in-law, Garet.  

Later, there was the year my thoughtful Aunt Cheryl and family brought the entire Thanksgiving meal to my parents' house, my mother too ill to travel to their home in another suburb.  And the following year my father and I spent the holiday in Austin, visiting my sister and brother-in-law.  The change of scenery was helpful.  

Scenes from Thanksgiving 2012 

The next spring I would meet Adam, and since then we've hosted.  It's hard to believe "my generation" is now the one preparing the holiday meals!  Now on the other side, I have much admiration for my grandmother and all those who have done the cooking.  Whew!  I have many fond memories of those Thanksgivings past.  There may not be sauerkraut and dumplings, or even maraschino cherries, but I hope that the gatherings we hold are creating good memories and a sense of tradition for our nieces and nephews, the next generation. 

Wishing you many fond holiday memories!

Hugs,
Tara     

Grandma's Czechoslovakian Fruit Squares 

Grandma's Czechoslovakian Fruit Squares 

Ingredients

1 cup butter or margarine, room temperature
1 cup sugar
2 egg yolks
2 teaspoons milk
2-1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup chopped nuts
1 can apricot preserves

Directions

1. Cream butter and sugar until light.  Add yolks, blend thoroughly.  Add milk.  
2. Sift dry ingredients and add to sugar mixture by hand.  Add nuts and blend by hand.  
3. Spread half of mixture into a greased 8-inch square pan by patting with hands.  Cover with preserves to 1/4 inch of edge.  Carefully cover preserves with remaining dough, a piece at a time on floured palms of your hands.  
4. Bake at 325 degrees Fahrenheit for about 1 hour.  
5. Cut into squares.  Makes 25-30 squares.  

Apricot filling / the dough / first layer with apricot / topping / all baked

Notes from Tara:

• I made these gluten free by substituting 350 grams of all-purpose gluten free flour mix and 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum.  Next time I might add a little more xanthan gum, or be sure the squares are entirely cool before trying to remove from the pan.  The top was a little crumbly.  
• Canned fruit preserves can be found in the baking aisle of the grocery store.  You could probably use fruit jam if you can't find it.  
• See below for an easy way to get bars out of a baking pan!

Cut two pieces of foil / size and fold / put first piece in place / 

size, fold, and place second piece the other way / grease as usual

Mai Bpen Rai! (It's All Good!) - Thai Bodywork Weekend Two

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.

If it were always a fist or always stretched open,

you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small

contracting and expanding,

the two as beautifully balanced

and coordinated as birds' wings.” ~ Rumi

Sawadee ka! (Hello!)  In the previous entry on Thai Bodywork, I gave an overview of what Thai Bodywork is.  This time, I thought I’d take a look at the structure of each weekend, the program overall, and a few of the insights I’ve gleaned so far.  

The program overall is comprised of six weekends.  Each weekend meets Thursday evening from 5 p.m. - 8 p.m., and Friday, Saturday, Sunday from 9 a.m. - 6 p.m.  It’s a full schedule for sure.  On Thursday I come right from work, and on Monday it’s right back to work.  I use a vacation day for Friday.  The evenings after training are spent trying to fit in the usual weekend chores, prepare for the next day, and see Adam and the pets a bit!

The Question Box, artwork by local artist and musician Frank Orrall.  The Tibetan Singing bowl doubles as an actual bowl, holding the Thai phrases we pick to partner up for practice.  Shhhhh!

Thursday evening begins with sharing.  We sit in a circle, and each person has uninterrupted time to say a few words on how she is doing (I am going to use “she” instead of “he / she,” as the group is predominantly female), anything significant that has occurred in her life during the past month, and things learned in doing the practice or homework.  After that, we set up the room.  Blue Lotus shares space at Moksha Yoga (Bucktown / Logan Square location), so the room is used for yoga at other times.  With the remaining time, we review.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have a similar structure.  Each day begins with movement.
Friday and Sunday is mostly Qi Gong led by Paul, and Saturday is Yoga with Aurora.  Wai Khru follows.  Wai Khru is a Thai ritual in which students pay respects to their teachers in order to express their gratitude and formalize the student–teacher relationship.  In Wai Khru we honor:  

1)  The Buddha - The symbol of enlightenment, and that we all have the potential to overcome obstacles and awaken.

2)  The Triple Jewel - Taking refuge in:  Buddha, the ideal or highest spiritual potential that exists within all beings; the Dhamma, or Dharma, the teachings; and Sangha, community, that we are supported and not alone in our endeavors.  We don’t have to do it ourselves!  

3)  Jivaka - The “godfather” of healers.  May we all be healed.  

Scenes on and around the altar.

And then the morning break, which is spent silently.  It takes a little getting used to being around others and not saying anything.  Even if I’m alone at home with the pets I talk to them, and I’m not a very chatty person.  It’s all habit though, much of what needs to be communicated in those 20 minutes can be accomplished with a smile, a nod, and maybe a few hand gestures.  If we have a snack, we should observe mindful eating (more on meditation and mindfulness practices another time).  I sometimes text Adam during the break, which I suspect is not in accordance with the spirit of the silent break.  

Following the break we have a lecture or demonstration.  Practice fills the rest of the morning, and a late lunch at 1 p.m.  Immediately after lunch there is walking meditation.  I can very highly recommend walking meditation after lunch.  For one, it helps with any post-lunch sluggishness.  Secondly, it is a nice transition between the more dynamic lunch break and the more contemplative Thai massage work.  The rest of the day is a mix of demonstration and practice.  

Teaching is a joy, but it is nice to go to class too!  Although it is a pleasure, for me, teaching is an “energy out” situation.  Being in Thai training is fills me back up, I find it nourishing.  I’ve always loved being a student, I am very much a class-learner, I absorb best in the company of others (Sangha!).  I am grateful to Paul and the assistants for their time and commitment (Wai Khru!).  There are a total of six assistants, not all are with the group the entire time, but between them and Paul there is a lot of individual instruction and feedback.  

Assistant Monica demonstrates on Julie as Cathie observes.

We also learn about Thai culture, and throughout the weekend are encouraged to use the Thai words we have learned so far.  If there is time, we will work on a Bonus Pose, have Pose Break Down (in depth analysis of a movement), or answer questions from the Question Box.  Anatomy lessons and a quiz are on Sundays.  We conclude with a shorter Wai Khru.  On Sunday evening, we clean up and put all the mats away.  :-(

In between weekends we are expected to:

* Meditate 20 minutes daily.

* Implement self-care practices (e.g. yoga, Qi Gong, self-massage, aerobic exercise and / or strength training, etc. - whatever we feel will help us be healthier and better equipped to manage the physical demands of giving Thai massage)

* Note three things daily in a gratitude journal.

* Do four 90-minute practice sessions on friends and family, including documentation.

* Complete readings from the three text books - one each on meditation, anatomy, and Thai bodywork.

* Write two reflections on the meditation readings.  

* Prepare for anatomy quiz!

The weekends are very enjoyable, and pass very quickly. By Sunday evening it seems difficult to believe we won’t be coming back the next morning for another day of training.  Toni, one of the assistants, said the weekends are like a retreat.  Although I’m still in Chicago, I do feel as though I have been away.  During Thursday evening sharing, many people said they were excited to be back for weekend two.  Classmate Katrina said the process of the gratitude journal unfolded for her over the course of the month.  At first it was a review of the day, noting afterward three good things that had happened.  As time went on, she began to notice things to be grateful for as they occurred.  The process of being grateful drew her into being present for the moment.  Hearing this strengthened my gratitude journal practice, which had been sporadic.  Like minded folks, sharing and inspiring.  More Sangha!

    Gin practices on Niki. Paul demonstrates on assistant Tammy, Cam and Katrina watching. During break Isaac shares some Acro Yoga with Niki.

One of the takeaways from the first weekend, for me, was how a small amount of intentional healing touch can be deeply relaxing.  Even from a person that is at the beginning of the learning process, working over and over in a small area of the body.  In between weekends, as I did my practice sessions, reminders to be gentle with myself were repeated.  I have just started learning this new skill, and like anything, it takes time.  A friend I practiced on said how much she enjoyed this style of massage.  It’s like giving the muscles a suggestion to relax, instead of forcing them to release.    

The second weekend brought two insights.  The first, when receiving massage, I am not fully letting go. I think I am relaxed, but a small part is hanging on.  When my body is being moved, I try and help the giver a little bit.  Of course, being a helper and a giver is a beautiful thing.  However, I’m really doing a disservice to both myself, not fully accepting the massage and its healing properties, and to the bodyworker, not allowing them to fully give their massage.  This is also an opportunity to see things from the client’s perspective.  When I feel a receiver holding and not fully trusting, I’ve been there, I’ve walked in their shoes.     

The second insight would seem the opposite of the first.  When giving massage, my pressure could be greater.  Some of this stems from being new and just not knowing.  Part is fear of hurting the receiver.  But, and here’s the juicy part, the last piece is related to the first insight.  I’m holding.  I’m not all in.  Thai massage is definitely an active endeavor, but, like yoga, really getting somewhere comes from softening, using breath, and allowing.   Going deeper doesn’t come muscling and force, it is born in letting go.        

And that, as they say, is my work.  Finding joy in small moments of recognition and learning.  Taking what comes up, and observing.  Equanimity - a state of stability or composure arising from a deep awareness and acceptance of the present moment.  In this moment of cognition, I realize I’m clenched.  To find balance, I must trust, breathe, release, and expand.  

See you on the mat.

Hugs,
Tara :-)